


Weight of the World

by Zurela



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Exhaustion, Gen, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Is it klance? Is it just friends? You decide, M/M, Nightmares, Paranoia, Sharing a Bed, Sick Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-06
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-28 14:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10833189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zurela/pseuds/Zurela
Summary: Lance hasn't been sleeping very well. He does a good job of handling that, really.Keith disagrees.





	Weight of the World

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on my tumblr forever ago and just never posted it here? It's pretty short but hey, might as well, right?

Being one of the seven people responsible for saving the entire universe was, understandably, not an easy job. Throw in the sudden knowledge that alien life exists, being unwillingly torn from the only home you’ve ever known for who knows how long, and losing your leader and idol somewhere in the endless space around them, and sleep suddenly became less of an easy escape.

Stress kept Lance awake, training woke him up early, and a newfound jumpiness had him jolting awake throughout the night.

The worst, though, was the nightmares.

Some time after Zarkon’s defeat and Shiro’s disappearance, the occasional bad dream turned to frequent, plaguing nightmares. Day after day, night after night, a new unspoken fear made itself known. By now, Lance had developed a routine for dealing with it.

It worked occasionally.

_Shiro is gone, no one can find him. It’s been months. The Galra recover from their previous defeat and come back stronger than ever. The remaining paladins try to find someone to pilot the black lion, but can’t successfully form Voltron. The war is lost._

Get out of bed, stretch on the floor and shut those thoughts out.

_The Galra colonization has spread to the Milky Way. They come to Earth. The entire planet is destroyed. Lance’s family is gone. The war has not yet been lost, but what’s the point in even fighting it anymore?_

Take a cold shower, and let the cool water wash the fear down the drain.

_Lance has failed at his job. He makes mistakes, his contributions are minimal, the team is tired of his jokes. Is he really worthy of piloting the blue lion? This is a war, and must be treated as such. He is a failure. He is undeserving. He is the seventh wheel._

Sneak onto the training deck. Fight the practice dummies. Run a battle simulation. Run it again. Again. Again.

“What is wrong with you today?” Keith asked after training one day. Lance knew he hadn’t done well. His movements were sluggish, and he was caught off guard one too many times.

“Nothing,” Lance bit. His head is pounding, his lungs feel tight. He just wants to sleep.

Keith sighed. “You’ve been having trouble for weeks now. Whatever it is, if you don’t get it sorted out, you’re gonna crash.”

Lance rolled his eyes and plastered on a smirk. “If anyone is gonna crash here, it’s you, Black Paladin.”

Keith scowled. “Forget it.”

Lance knew that was a sore subject, but he had to keep Keith off his back. No one could know about the stress, the nightmares, the fact that he hadn’t slept more than 4 hours in the past week. He had to stay strong, prove his worth to the team, and help get Shiro back as well as fight the Galra.

Keith hadn’t been wrong, though. He knew he was headed down a dangerous path, and if he didn’t get himself sorted out soon, he would be more of a liability to the team than anything. 

Lance sighed. This was getting too complicated, and focusing or working on a solution was difficult, exhausted as he was.

Finally, after a few more nights of no sleep, Lance was beginning to think he really needed help. Meditating did nothing to help keep his thoughts from racing, a cold shower was no longer enough to keep him awake, and fighting the training dummies every night was taking a lot out of him.

And yet still, he couldn’t bring himself to confess to his nightmares, which had started finding new ways to torture him.

“You’re useless,” Keith spat, kneeling over Lance’s exhausted body, prone on the floor. “You are weak, and your mistakes have ruined this team. Shiro would be disappointed.” Keith pulled out his bayard, and let it extend into a sword in his hand. Lance fought him, doing everything he could to push Keith away, but was too weak to save himself. Keith scowled, and the bayard appeared above him, the tip of the sword pointed right between his eyes. Lance screamed as it came downwards-

He sprang up, nearly hitting his head on the wall behind him. His vision swam, his head throbbed, and sweat and tears dampened his cheeks. 

He was not useless, he was not weak, he was okay, he was doing well-

Lance jumped out of bed and went straight for the training deck, skipping his other usual methods to help him relax. He had to prove his worth. He had to keep fighting, keep trying, keep working, show Keith and Shiro and Allura and everyone that he was a good paladin, a good pilot, a good fighter.

His legs trembled beneath him as he ran. The fog in his mind left him feeling disoriented, briefly forgetting how to even get to the training deck. When he finally made it, he turned the simulation to the highest level, not even bothering to get his bayard or armor.

Lance lasted all of five minutes before taking a hard hit to the stomach, knocking him to the floor. While he would normally spring back up and continue, his legs couldn’t even hold his weight. His breath came out in heaves, unable to even yell for the simulation to stop. The training robot approached once more, looming over Lance, poised to strike again-

“End simulation!”

The robot stopped then, leaving Lance laying on the ground, arm over his eyes, coughing and gasping for air. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Lance pulled his arm away to see Keith standing over him. The light above blurred in Lance’s eyes, but he could make out a faint scowl on Keith’s face. He wore his usual clothes, minus his jacket, as he was accustomed to sleeping in. His bayard was in hand, sword not yet formed, but Keith’s white-knuckled grip over it indicated that he was ready for a fight if need be.

“Couldn’t sleep, just...wanted some extra practice.”

Keith sighed and extended a hand to Lance, which he used to pull himself into a sitting position. “You look like you could’ve used the sleep. How long have you been here?”

Lance braced an arm to the ground, too tired to think clearly or hold himself up. “Not sure, only a few minutes...I usually last a few hours, think I set the level too high.”

“Usually?” Keith questioned. “What do you mean, usually? How often do you do this?”

“Most nights,” Lance hummed. “Sometimes I can fall back asleep after a shower or something, but it never lasts long.”

“What?”

Lance leaned to the side, coughing into the arm not being used to keep himself in a sitting position. His elbow buckled beneath him with the force, and he found himself once again on his back.

“Hey!” Keith shouted, crouching next to Lance. “What’s wrong?”

Lance opened his eyes to see Keith kneeling above him, bayard in hand…

“No!” Lance screamed, pushing himself backwards. He managed to catch Keith off guard and knock him away, so he quickly scrambled back to push his back against the wall, knees drawn to his chest. “Please, don’t hurt me! I’m sorry, I know I’m messing up, I’m trying my best, I’ll keep training, I can be worth something, please-”

“Hey,” Keith interrupted, voice going soft and concerned. He sat a few feet away from Lance, hands lifted in a placating gesture. “Lance, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Lance’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m okay, I promise. I won’t jeopardize the team, really. I can take care of myself, I’ll work it out, I promise. Please don’t be mad.”

Keith sighed. “I know you’re doing your best, Lance, but I think maybe I should help you. I’m not going to do anything to you, and no one is mad at you. Can I just come closer? I won’t touch you.”

Lance hesitated, tears spilling over his cheeks, before giving the slightest nod. Keith smiled softly before approaching slowly, as if trying to approach a frightened animal. “Okay, good. See? I’m not trying to hurt you. Can I, uh...can I touch you now?”

Lance’s eyes widened and flickered down to the bayard in Keith’s hand. Keith’s eyes followed his and saw where he was staring, so he slid the bayard across the room.

Lance just swallowed and closed his eyes, so Keith took the opportunity to gently lift his hand to the side of Lance’s forehead. He grimaced. “Okay, that’s not good.”

Lance choked out a sob before dropping his head to rest on his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s okay!” Keith rushed to apologize, before taking a deep breath. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just worried because you seem pretty sick. How long have you felt this bad?”

“Dunno,” Lance slurred. “Haven’t slept much, so it just kept getting worse…”

“Lance, when is the last time you slept?”

“Few minutes ago.”

Keith sighed. “More than a couple of hours.”

Lance didn’t respond, which was all the answer Keith needed. “Okay, come on, let’s go to your room.”

Before Lance could protest any further, Keith pulled him up and wrapped one of Lance’s arms around him, bracing his own arm on Lance’s back. While Lance did the best he could to walk, Keith still carried most of his weight.

When they made it back to his room, Keith helped Lance onto his bed before turning to go get food goo and water. If Lance had gone so long without sleeping and was training so often, he was probably dehydrated and starved of energy.

“Wait!” Lance called. “Please, I’m sorry, please don’t abandon me!”

Keith turned around to face him. “I’m not leaving,” Keith assured. “You need to sleep, but first you should eat something and drink some water. I’ll be back in two minutes.”

When Keith returned, food and water in hand, he quickly tossed them aside to reach Lance, who was now curled up in the corner of his bed and rocking back and forth.

“Lance, it’s okay.” Keith tried his best to comfort Lance, but he was clearly delirious. This was not Keith’s area of expertise. “You’re alright, you’re safe. It’s _okay_.”

Eating could wait, right now Lance needed to calm down and get some sleep. Keith placed an arm on Lance’s shoulder, doing his best not to startle him while making sure his grip was unwavering. “Lance, it’s alright. I’m right here. Could you try and go to sleep now?”

Lance peeked up at Keith, still trembling.

Keith sighed. “I’ll be right here, don’t worry. I don’t want to leave you alone like this.”

Lance nodded slightly and let himself lay down, curled up and facing the wall. Keith sighed, giving up on trying to accomplish anything tonight. They could talk more after Lance got some sleep.

Keith drifted off not long after, leaned against the wall by Lance’s bed. His sleep didn’t last long, however, as he was woken by a kick to the head.

He jolted awake, letting out an indignant “hey!” at being hit. When he turned to Lance, however, he remembered why he had been here in the first place.

Lance was shaking even harder than he had been earlier, tears leaking from his eyes and blankets twisted around him.

“Lance,” Keith called, before reaching out to grab his arm. “Lance!”

Lance bolted upright with a gasp, looking around the room with his arms braced in front of himself, as if shielding himself from a hit.

“Lance, it’s me, Keith, remember? You were just having a nightmare. It’s okay.”

Lance ignored him, jumping from his bed before turning to leave the room. Keith jumped up after him and grabbed his arm, noting how warm his skin still felt. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

Lance spun around to look at him, and Keith was surprised by the look of total fear that had taken over his features. “I can’t sleep,” he choked out. “Every time I try I just...I can’t. I can’t sleep at all anymore. I have to keep training, have to keep getting better.”

“This is happening every night?” Keith questioned in shock. Did he even sleep at all anymore?

Lance continued. “All I see is Earth being destroyed, Shiro being gone forever, being kicked off the team, watching all of you kill me, over and over and over and over and-”

Keith grabbed Lance’s shoulders. Lance looked back at him, eyes blank, almost seeing through him. What could Keith say? Lance was sick, exhausted, stressed, and completely out of it. Nothing seemed to reassure him, no matter how many times Keith told him it was okay.

Screw it. Keith pulled Lance in for a tight hug.

Lance stiffened at first, but soon relaxed, though his arms still dangled at his sides.

Keith pushed on. “I will never let anything happen to you.”

Lance still didn’t move, but choked on another sob.

“I will never let anything happen to you.”

Lance buried his face against Keith’s neck, crying even harder.

“I will _never_ let _anything_ happen to you.”

Lance finally threw his arms around Keith, breaking down completely and letting sobs wrack his body. His legs gave out beneath him, and Keith guided them both down to the floor, his grip still solid around Lance.

“I know you’re scared, and stressed. I am too. I don’t know where Shiro is, I don’t know how to lead the team, I don’t understand what it means to be part Galra, and this war is far from over. But I know you’re here, and the rest of the team is, too, so I don’t have to face it alone. Everything will be okay.”

Lance sniffled. “How do you know?”

“I...I don’t. But I believe it, and I trust all of you. Do you trust me?”

Keith felt Lance nod against his shoulder.

“Good. Now do you think you can get some sleep?”

“I’ll try.”

“You try harder than any of us, so I’ll trust you on that one. Want me to stay here?”

“Yes.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to leave anyways. Come on, drink some water and we can both get some sleep.”

Lance cleaned himself up and crawled back into bed, Keith right beside him. Neither of them so much as twitched for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> That was fun, right? Probably. I wrote this a really long time ago so I don't remember what happens, but here's my guess: Lance gets all kinds of messed up, and Keith is kinda mean at first till he realizes that hoo boy nope Lance isn't having a good time at all is he? Then the ending is reeeeally cheesy. I'll bet all my money on that exact thing happening.
> 
> Anyways, [I have a tumblr](https://zurela.tumblr.com/), and I post actual stuff sometimes. This is one of those.


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